12–2–22 Prayers in the December Sky — or That time I got drunk and fell into the Christmas Tree
12–2–22 Prayers in the December Sky
Or, that time I got wasted and fell into the Christmas tree
Phoebe Bridgers
Gosh, I love you
What a master of melancholy!
Have you heard her cover of
The Handsome Family’s “So Much Wine”?
You gotta listen to it
It’s so good
Here, give it a spin!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrNsH6sAKDM
________
“So Much Wine” by Brett and Rennie Sparks
I had nothing to say on Christmas Day
When you threw all your clothes in the snow
When you burnt your hair, knocked over chairs
I just tried to stay out of your way
But when you fell asleep
With blood on your teeth
I got in my car and drove away
Listen to me, Butterfly, there’s only so much wine
You can drink in one life
But it will never be enough
To save you from the bottom of your glass
Where the state highway starts, I parked my car
I got out and stared up at the stars
As meteors dived and shot across the sky
I thought about your sad, shining eyes
I came back for my clothes
When the sun finally rose
But you were still passed out on the floor
Listen to me, Butterfly, there’s only so much wine
You can drink in one life
But it will never be enough
To save you from the bottom of your glass
________
Damn
Beautiful
And, as a person recovering from alcohol addiction
man, do I know this story
I remember one Christmas Day when I was still drinking
We hosted our parents and my Great Aunt Thelma
(Love you, Thelma! You and all the Ancestors take care of us now. Thank you.)
It was a really nice dinner in our tiny Como Park home
I’m sure I was filling my cup by morning when I started cooking
and I’m sure I kept pouring all day
but that’s just what I did
and I kept it together ’til the guests went home and the cleanup began
I was looking for some real Christmas magic that night
God, I’m always looking for the real magic
Anyways, my brain told me I’d find it by filling a cocktail shaker with gin and vermouth
Always a good way to go — wine and beer all day
and finish with an 8 oz. martini…
Not sure how it happened
Musta been leanin’ pretty hard
Lookin’
Then fallin’
into the tree
Musta sounded like jingle bells when we crashed to the floor
________
I’m thinking about this song and my life
and about this scripture from Romans
Besides this, you know what time it is, how it is now the moment for you to wake from sleep. For salvation is nearer to us now than when we became believers; the night is far gone, the day is near. Let us then lay aside the works of darkness and put on the armor of light; let us live honorably as in the day, not in reveling and drunkenness, not in debauchery and licentiousness, not in quarreling and jealousy. Instead, put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.
I used to want to skip over verses like these
I mean, come on Reverend Moore, what’s next, no dancing
No holding hands without a chaperone
Paul, come on man
Why you gotta be such a fuddy duddy
Guy talks about freedom in Christ all the time
but holy cow is he high strung
Anyways
I hear these lines different now
I’ve been in recovery from the always-watching-and-usually-angry “Father God” for about as long as I’ve been recovering from the booze
I know now that Christianity isn’t about moralisms
It’s really about dying
and rising again
This text isn’t about good boys and good girls keeping their noses clean
This is about despair
This is “all of life is suffering”
And there will never be enough
booze
good television
shopping carts
people to blame
reasons I’m right
hook ups
or whatever else it is we’re using to take the edge off and taste the Magic we’re so thirsty for
What is it you’re usin’ to take the edge off?
How’s that workin’?
Listen to me, Butterfly
We all got something in our glass
We spend a lot of our lives trying to keep it filled
until that glorious moment
when we fall
into the Christmas tree
through the floor
and into the arms of Love
What are you really looking for?
My love,
whatever you’re trying to find it
I hope you find the bottom
Turns out
that’s the place we’re found
